Tofu_product. What Would I Say. Liveson. These are the parrots of our own creation, robots designed to mimic speech used on the internet, fashioned after the patterns you allow them to access, your syntax clothed in algorithm. They are imperfect translations of your running thoughts; or at least the ones you post to Twitter and Facebook.

Wishing i were in crooked lines on my house.

fortunately i’ll get to support small businesses. Am massively confused.

the fact that

It’s a fun game to play. For me, they’re quite accurate. They sound like me, drunk.

Fat Van Gundy? Skinny Van Gundy? Dare I even prouder to be the next Friday, i feel better!

New article on financial markets are approaching a close, here’s a gallery of Pau Gasol and Kobe Bryant hugging to find that

Sometimes, they get a little sad.

i look exactly the same Spanish conquistador heritage makes me

They are incomplete...

I majored in public relations because the PSAT told me I’d be good at it. I had no idea what that was beyond my knowledge of Samantha Jones and VH1 reality TV.

This didn’t seem too bad - besides, my original career choices seemed impractical:
1) Dr. Astronaut Michelle Kwan - Actually impossible career choice.
2) Dentist - I barely passed chemistry and I was part of a small contingent of renegade students at my high school for the gifted relegated to regular biology, where we colored.
3) The next Rachel Maddow - I actually seriously wanted to do this until my sophomore year in college, then… the Elliot Spitzer scandal. And then - no.

And so I pursued, because I loved to write and math and science didn’t seem to inspire the same kind of tumble-late-at-night passion that I had for a good story. I devoured everything from newspapers to magazines to thick paperback books; watched Meet The...